June 9, 2020by T Q1
Tqs Blog TQ Matter



I chose the verb. I’m so tired of explaining.

One side of me says, “fuck an explanation for why you matter.” That goes for myself and every other human being. Imagine telling somebody, “Hey, I matter just like you matter,” and them coming back with some kind of problem with it. How would you look at them if they responded with anything other than “Yes, you do?” This is my dilemma today.

It’s not really a dilemma at all. Every man is free to think how he wants, and I ‘m free not to give a fuck or engage. It should be that simple, but it isn’t. You look at social media, and you’re probably shocked at some of your friends and family. The US is a full mess right now, and a lot of Americans don’t really know what to think.

Both sides of the coin have absolutely disgusting sections. Don’t touch that part. Is it the whole coin? No. Can it infect a more significant part of the coin? Most definitely. I know a lot of people who voted for Donald Trump. Most of them did it because they’re either Republican, hated Hillary Clinton, or both. They didn’t think Trump was God’s most excellent candidate. They just thought the other alternative might have been the worst. I have to admit, as I have before, I’m not a fan either.

Voting for Donald Trump doesn’t make a person a racist. Give me a fucking break.

That being said, I wouldn’t vote for that guy to save Deez nuts. I prolly went too far there, but it was for effect. Roll with me. Trump doesn’t know how to be the President of the United States. LOL, no fucking way homie. Who would take this guy seriously? I could absolutely see him in a briefing room, not having a clue. He wouldn’t be the first one in that position, but he’d be the first one not to STFU and let the smart people run the country. This guy is a TV star. He’s a rich, big-time New York, real-estate dude. Big spender and all, you know?

I wholeheartedly believe that President Trump thinks he’s handsome. Imagine that shit. This guy, as the most powerful man in the world, didn’t sit right with me. That’s like some Manchurian Candidate shit. Nah, I’ll pass. At least Clinton was a politician, but then she reminded me of one of my eighth-grade teachers who was a real bitch. Plus, her shoes were always wack AF. You can tell a lot about a woman by the shoes, you know? If they wear those big ass heels, you prolly shouldn’t elect them as POTUS. Bih ain’t got no balance you dig? ??‍♂️

But then when Trump wins, and you have Democrats losing their minds as if the US just elected the antichrist. Oh, it was soooooooo terrible. “Our way of life would be changed forever!” “He’s never gonna leave!” “He’s Hitler!

Please shut the fuck up and sit back down.

You sat on your ass, believing he couldn’t win, and he did. It was our fault. We let it happen. I was more concerned with the California government myself. I wrote “Barack Obama” on the page, which was basically a vote for Trump or a vote for no one. That was stupid. All of the partisan shit drags us into a situation where we have to pick a side even if we don’t subscribe. Then we get soaked up into a net that we may not even want to be a part of. I have issues with Democrats and Republicans. I don’t want to be either.

I’m also against Fascism. I don’t hood up and go burn shit down about it, though. I don’t know anybody who does. I know #BLM because they look and sound like me. I wouldn’t think that they’re into Fascism either. That’s cool too. I know they aren’t into police brutality. I know they’re tired like I am.

They’re tired of black people getting killed by police for nonviolent crimes or no reason at all, so they’ve taken it upon themselves to remind the world that our lives matter too. I’m all the way with that. People like me are being lumped into something else… but whatever.

Fuck Robert E. Lee and fuck the confederate flag.

Lump that. Fuck Winston Churchill too, for that small set that believes that racism doesn’t reside in the UK. Get the fuck outta here. Most of my friends over there are brown people. Some of my friends are white. I see the fucking difference. Some people are so far up their own asses that they only see their shit. That’s because that’s all they want to see. Man, all the bitching I see about a fucking statue…

I don’t give a fuck about statues and memorials of people and symbols that stood for my demise. I was born in America. From my family that was here already, this land was stolen. The other half of my family was brought here and ravaged for 400 years. Fuck them punk ass statues. If you believe that you’re superior to another human because of the color of your skin, fuck you too… and everybody that came with you.

Shouts out to the US Marine Corps for no longer allowing American soldiers to celebrate treason with that bitch ass flag on their T-Shirts, mugs, and pickup trucks.  Enough of that shit.

I’ll never forget, I was living part-time in Alabama, and my son’s school calendar had MLK Day marked as “Robert E Lee” day. Are we fucking serious? Yall ain’t tired of this shit? Hell yeah, you are. I see it. What is this, two weeks straight?  I see people of all colors and creeds in the streets. All of them are in the streets because they’re tired of it. I love it.

“George Floyd’s funeral is down here close to me. You wanna come get som pics?”

I saw Trish’s text the other day about bringing my camera to Houston. I haven’t protested once. That’s not really like me to be honest, but I ain’t fuckin’ with Corona like that. No sirree Bob. I really wanted to flip through the media coverage. Knowing so many people in so many places, I can get some real perspective to check against what I see. Plus, the first weekend, I was mad as fuck.

I needed to stay my ass at home and oil up the tools. I didn’t know Big George Floyd. His family will be able to celebrate his life today. We should allow them to do it.

Let the rest of us focus on his death. FOCUS ON HIS DEATH.

I’m drunk, but I can’t breathe because you have your knee on my neck. I’m a big guy, but I can’t breathe because you have your knee on my neck. I haven’t committed a violent crime, but I can’t breathe because you have your knee on my neck. I’ve put nobody in danger, but I can’t breathe because you have your knee on my neck. I may have used a fake $20. Alright, you got me, but I can’t breathe because you have your knee on my neck. I’m high AF off meth and whatever else, but I can’t breathe because you have your knee on my neck.

I’m dead because I couldn’t breathe… because you had your knee on my neck for almost nine minutes. FOCUS ON HIS DEATH.

I didn’t go to Houston. I don’t know if or when I’ll go out and protest. I want to see these next couple of weeks of COVID-19, to be honest. I guess I’m a little more concerned with the new virus than the old one. The old virus has been around so long that I’ve used it as motivation. I’m so used to it. Am I numb or complacent?

Or am I just tired?

Fatigue is a bitch, and it’ll play tricks on you. We’ve fought for civil rights for years. I was speaking to my dad about Black History. He reminded me that they had none because they were out making it. He talked about the things that came out of their fight and asked me what I thought would come out of ours. I was tired before I spoke to him. I was energized when we got off the phone.

I listened to my Revolution album on my way back to Vegas. It sounds like a soundtrack for the movie that has been the last couple of weeks. I haven’t been able to write like I wanted to lately. My own life movement has put me in a position to focus on positivity. George Floyd’s death made that difficult to do. The aftermath of his death has shown me both the best and worst of us. Those absolutely disgusting parts of our coin are alive and well, and we thought we’d come so far. We have a hell of a long way to go.

I’m gonna say it again, you gotta be ready if you want a revolution. Are you ready? It’s starting to feel like you are. Time for me to go back to the lab. 

Gotta make something that matters.

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One comment

  • Amanda

    June 9, 2020 at 3:35 pm

    I feel ya

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